How to be a superslave.

There is nothing like a man in a helmet fucking a cheap cherry pie to brighten my week. I spent the afternoon yesterday with lacy, my cherished humiliation sissy. We always have such a good time. She understands my bizarre sense of humor and does everything I ask with a sincere desire to please me. She is one of my "superslaves". A superslave is someone who understands it is important for the bottom to be present and responsive during the scene. They really go above and beyond to be engaging and intuitive. Here are a few tips for the boys and girls at home aspiring to be someone's superslave:

-The fact that you’re on the bottom does not alleviate your responsibility to educate yourself. Read all you can about your kinky interests. You should know what you are getting into so that you can make an informed decision about submitting to the right person. It is very easy to blame someone else for a scene gone wrong if you have not taken the time to educate yourself about what you’re doing. Take responsibility for your own safety.

- Get informed about your play partner. If they have a profile or website, read it thoroughly. The better idea you have of their interests and style the more likely you can accommodate their desires. I don't mean a cursory glance through their kinky interests. I am talking about really reading what they have written and getting an idea of who they are.

- Be overly concerned with hygiene before you arrive. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. I mean clean your ears, brush and floss your teeth, scrub your scalp, clean and trim your nails, moisturize your skin (helps minimize skin damage during bondage and impact play), wear deodorant but not perfume or cologne, scrub your genitals and asshole, (Especially your asshole, in my years I have seen countless bits of toilet paper. Gross. That is not going to incite desire in anyone’s loins.)If you’re doing anal play be sure you have recently used the restroom or have an enema. The simplest thing to do is a "dry" enema. You can just squirt a couple of tablespoons of lube in your ass, hold for a few and expel. This is not as time consuming as a regular enema and there won't be any unexpected leakage later. It also lubes the inside of your rectum so any shit caught on the sides will stick to the lube and not whatever is inserted making for easier cleanup. This maybe a little too much information for some of you but I am sure tops across the land are clapping their hands. (Unless you like that sort of thing, in which case disregard all hygienic info and enjoy your funk. Just don't bring that shit here.)

- Be responsive without being fake. This means breathe, scream, pant, beg, talk dirty, growl, cry. Just do something. There is nothing more boring than a limp noodle on the spanking bench. A bottom who is stoic and unresponsive doesn't come across as brave, they are boring. You should be playing with someone you trust, so relax into the scene. If you are shy or nervous, at least use soft moans and body language to communicate with your top and feed their desire. A slave's responses are like fuel to my fire, if they want it to get really hot they better work it. A slave who is obviously over reacting is particularly tiresome as well. That feels as if we aren't doing anything real enough to illicit a sincere response. Yawn. A great book for those who are nasty talk challenged is Exhibitionism for the Shy by Carol Queen.


- Assume nothing. Seriously. When I say be intuitive, I mean try and anticipate what will be expected of you and ways to please the dominant. Don't try and guess what to call them or where you should wait. Ask where you should stand/sit down and how you should address them. It pleases me when a new play partner politely inquires about things like this. This shows me right off that my bottom is interested in what I want. They understand this is not their previous relationship or some fantasy. They are genuinely there to serve me in the way I desire. When someone just strolls in like they own the joint, I want to throat chop them and send them on their merry way. I do not kick them out but it certainly tells me there is a lot of work to be done. Superslaves inquire about the top's preferences and remember them.

- Follow the dominant's rules. This should go without saying but for some subs, it doesn't. If your scene is based around resistance or being a smart ass, that must be negotiated. When it is not, it is frustrating and confusing for the top. (Neither of those emotions make me want to get kinky.) Listen carefully to the dominant's directions and follow them to the best of your ability. Intentional insolence always ends up in dismissal from my dungeon. I have way too many engaging play partners to spend time with people who try to manipulate me from the bottom. Some people enjoy testing limits by not doing certain things to see what will happen. There are people who enjoy this sort of game but again, that must be negotiated. I abhor repeating myself and find this behavior rather boring.

- Show appreciation. A small gift before the scene, a thank you note a few days after or maybe a phone call if it's appropriate. This does not need to be extravegant but a gesture of your appreciation and excitement is a nice way to start or end any scene. It is particularly nice if you have done some research into the top's interests and presented something thoughtful. Roses and chocolate are pretty uninventive, be creative. Try not to be too intimate initially. For some people it can be a little creepy for someone they don't know to bring them panties. Some of the sweetest gestures I have recieved have been simple notes on cards featuring photos or quotes of interest. I have bottoms who send me clippings of articles I might enjoy or recordings of interviews from people I find fascinating. These things show me I am in their thoughts outside of the dungeon and that they are always looking for ways to please me. When I see them I always make sure to put everything I have into our time together. I am inspired by their service and appreciation.

- Buy your own gear. I mean this for lifestyle players. When you visit a professional, they should be equipped to handle your session unless it is a rare request or highly specialized area. There is no reason you should not own your own toys. It is not the tops responsibility to supply all of the toys. Personally, when I meet a personal play partner who has a lot of experience and no toys I am a little turned off. It tells me they expect me to bring the party to them. It tells me that maybe this isn't that important to their sexuality. This is particularly true if you have specialty interests like pony play, rubber, or electrics.

- Do not gossip about your previous play partners. It's fine to talk about previous experiences, even if they were unpleasant. When a new bottom begins telling me about their previous experience by badmouthing previous partners or giving me specific intimate details about them I am apprehensive. It makes me wonder what they may say about our relationship if things do not work out. I appreciate candor as well as discretion and they are not mutually exclusive. Remember that what you say about other people can tell more about you than you realize. If someone is interested in hearing you bad mouth your previous play partners then you should really consider who you are trusting with your life. The top should be a lot more concerned with your interests and experiences than gossip about this mistress or that master.

- Be genuine. I mean be honest, especially when it is difficult. When probed, be honest about your desires, limits, needs, expectations, failures, and fears...all of it. Anything less is not surrender.

-Do not be flakey. It doesn't matter how cute you think you are or how many swats you can take with a cane. Most people lead busy lives and planning play time takes a bit of effort. I have had several people who are sexy and fun that I dismissed because their egos out weighed their assets. Capable tops can always find willing bottoms. Follow through by showing when you say you will or just stay home and watch porn. Don't waste peoples time, it is valuable and they don't owe it to you.

Now grab a cape and you are on your way.

This has turned into a much longer entry than I had anticipated. There is plenty of info here to get you started and my video work is calling. Wait until you see the amazing feats I had lacy perform this time. They are utterly ridiculous. I think I may even change her name to “the utterly ridiculous lacy sissy”. Doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily but it certainly suits her. What do you think makes a superslave?