What makes a great Mistress?
I frequently have my slaves share their ideas of what makes a 'great slave'. I have decided turn about is fair play and came up with this, in no particular order.
1. Integrity.
If the woman you are about submit to has no personal integrity it devalues your gift. It is not unreasonable to expect the Mistress to be honest, forth coming, sincere, ethical and genuinely interested in your well being.
2. Imagination
A Mistress is in charge of weaving complex scenarios that involve countless emotional and physical situations. She must have a good imagination in order to keep the subordinate fully engaged and present whilst getting her point across. It is imperative that the slave never feel as though the two of you are simply going through the motions. Imagination can go along way into keeping things fresh while refreshing classic expectations.
3. Confidence
In order to truly lead your bottom it is very important that you have a strong sense of self. Confidence in your abilities, appearance and pervy prowess are a must. If you feel as though thigh high boots and a sexy perfume give you that extra boost by all means, go for it! When you are speaking to your slave your expectations must be crystal clear and you must have no question in your tone.
4. Curiosity.
A natural curiosity enables the Mistress to delve deeply into your mind and kinks. She should enjoy exploring your body and mind enthusiastically. Examining you and your every secret excites her. This curiosity will deepen the level of connection as she probes further into you. A curios mind also tends to research new play styles and activities as opposed to holding to the same patterns over time.
5. Education.
Not in the traditional sense though that does certainly help. A Mistress who is skilled must have knowledge. She should possess the knowledge not only of how to do various activities but also what to do in the event if an emergency during those things. Safety techniques as well as technical skill. The ideal Mistress should constantly strive to improve and expand her methods.
6. Empathy.
A Mistress must be able to understand what someone else is experiencing. There should be an almost psychic connection to what she is doing and how she is interacting with her bottom. Some people believe it is necessary to start at the bottom and work your way up to achieve this.
7. A sense of humor.
It is important to remember that this is supposed to be fun. Stern verbal domination and protocol definitely have their place in BDSM. A strong sense of humor can make an intense experience cross all emotional fields and really expand the scene. This can be exercised through entertaining bondage, predicament situations, humiliation, and used to make more mundane tasks more enjoyable for the dominant to watch. It is also important to keep a sense of humor in case something should not go as planned.
8. Challenging (mentally and physically).
It is very important that the relationship between a Mistress and her charge be in a constant state of evolution. I believe in order to do that is important to be able to find a balance of where a bottoms limits lie and play with those. This is where the most important times during a scene are for me. Expanding and playing with limits, finding out where the boundaries are and why, how it can be utilized and cultivated.
9. Style.
Every Mistress should have her own personal style through demeanor, attire, verbally and discipline. This is what sets you apart from all other dominants. While it is important to watch, read and learn from others it is cardinal to be sure and infuse your skills with your own brand of kink.
10. Communication
Two way communications is very important in keeping with a consensual and mutually beneficial partnership. This is especially true when playing with power exchange. The Mistress should be able to clearly communicate her desires and expectations to you. She should also expect the same from you and be able to discuss and negotiate your limits and expectations thoroughly. Anything less is not consensual.
1. Integrity.
If the woman you are about submit to has no personal integrity it devalues your gift. It is not unreasonable to expect the Mistress to be honest, forth coming, sincere, ethical and genuinely interested in your well being.
2. Imagination
A Mistress is in charge of weaving complex scenarios that involve countless emotional and physical situations. She must have a good imagination in order to keep the subordinate fully engaged and present whilst getting her point across. It is imperative that the slave never feel as though the two of you are simply going through the motions. Imagination can go along way into keeping things fresh while refreshing classic expectations.
3. Confidence
In order to truly lead your bottom it is very important that you have a strong sense of self. Confidence in your abilities, appearance and pervy prowess are a must. If you feel as though thigh high boots and a sexy perfume give you that extra boost by all means, go for it! When you are speaking to your slave your expectations must be crystal clear and you must have no question in your tone.
4. Curiosity.
A natural curiosity enables the Mistress to delve deeply into your mind and kinks. She should enjoy exploring your body and mind enthusiastically. Examining you and your every secret excites her. This curiosity will deepen the level of connection as she probes further into you. A curios mind also tends to research new play styles and activities as opposed to holding to the same patterns over time.
5. Education.
Not in the traditional sense though that does certainly help. A Mistress who is skilled must have knowledge. She should possess the knowledge not only of how to do various activities but also what to do in the event if an emergency during those things. Safety techniques as well as technical skill. The ideal Mistress should constantly strive to improve and expand her methods.
6. Empathy.
A Mistress must be able to understand what someone else is experiencing. There should be an almost psychic connection to what she is doing and how she is interacting with her bottom. Some people believe it is necessary to start at the bottom and work your way up to achieve this.
7. A sense of humor.
It is important to remember that this is supposed to be fun. Stern verbal domination and protocol definitely have their place in BDSM. A strong sense of humor can make an intense experience cross all emotional fields and really expand the scene. This can be exercised through entertaining bondage, predicament situations, humiliation, and used to make more mundane tasks more enjoyable for the dominant to watch. It is also important to keep a sense of humor in case something should not go as planned.
8. Challenging (mentally and physically).
It is very important that the relationship between a Mistress and her charge be in a constant state of evolution. I believe in order to do that is important to be able to find a balance of where a bottoms limits lie and play with those. This is where the most important times during a scene are for me. Expanding and playing with limits, finding out where the boundaries are and why, how it can be utilized and cultivated.
9. Style.
Every Mistress should have her own personal style through demeanor, attire, verbally and discipline. This is what sets you apart from all other dominants. While it is important to watch, read and learn from others it is cardinal to be sure and infuse your skills with your own brand of kink.
10. Communication
Two way communications is very important in keeping with a consensual and mutually beneficial partnership. This is especially true when playing with power exchange. The Mistress should be able to clearly communicate her desires and expectations to you. She should also expect the same from you and be able to discuss and negotiate your limits and expectations thoroughly. Anything less is not consensual.
posted by Betka Schpitz at
3/20/2006 05:58:00 PM
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