Discretion-Personal Ads/Sex work

I have been reading blogs about this cunty little boy in Seattle who outed a bunch of people that responded to a faux personal ad. He posted a vulgar, inarticulate ad with a picture of a gaping hole to bait the boys. And bait them it did. They sent him face shots, cock shots, phone numbers, work emails, the works. Dumb. He posted their info on public websites. The guy is a lonely little troll seeking validation that he is smarter than most. I did not want to give him any more attention or traffic but I thought it was a good time to talk about discretion.

Online Ads:

Consider the level of discretion you need before placing/responding to an ad, particularly anything with a photo. People may use information they obtain to harass you, especially if you reject them. Do not give them anything that you would not want ending up in the NY Times and you are all good. Save the intimate details for a more appropriate time and place. (After you have established some trust.)

Go to Gmail and set up a free email account if you don't already have one. Seriously, do it right now. That is your first step in having a bit of privacy on the net. If you are emailing from work or signing up for websites with your work address you might as well send a memo to HR letting them know you are into anal fisting. Stop asking for trouble. Things happen, people talk and somewhere down the road that quick hook up note you try and zip off before 5 is going to come back and bite you in the balls.

Do not send out information to strangers that will help them find your company website. Hello Dr. Cock, think with your other head for a moment. Why does a random internet hook up need to know your VP of public relations for the city? They don't. If you are posting a personal ad or responding, try focusing on your personal qualities and interests instead of your resume.


Do not give out your phone number until you have established a mutual rapport. I have used reverse directories for years to let wankers know just how easy it is to come across their information. (A wanker is someone who calls to set up false appointments, harass or discuss potential mutual interests only to garner a few minutes of free phone time. They are the most frustrating part of my job. I consider them bottom-feeding thieves who steal valuable time from real clients.)

Do meet in a public place to discuss your initial rendezvous. This is not a guarantee of course but take a little while to access whether this person is someone you want knowing your address or phone number. There are plenty of people looking for sexy fun, make sure your choosing a play partner who is authentic and compatible before putting yourself at risk.

Don't park your car in sight for the initial meeting. DMV records are easy to get and can give someone a wealth of information about you.

Do not lie about your marital status. It is a shitty thing to do and it sets you up for a nasty blackmail scheme should an enterprising little gold digger decide to mess with you. Spend the same time and energy you are trying to get laid with and go see a therapist or an attorney. It is unfair to involve someone else in your marital drama.

When seeing a sex worker:

Do some research and find someone who meets not only your physical expectations but also appears to hold similar ideas about discretion and privacy. If they do not address privacy concerns on their contact page, politely inquire about their policies. Things to consider include:

Who has access to their emails?
How is client information stored?
What happens if someone calls and asks her what sort of business this is?
Will anyone else be in the facility? If so, will you see them face to face?
What sort of parking is available if there is an incall location?

Use the same precautions you would when answering a personal ad. If they ask for further identifiable information for safety reasons do that as discreetly as possible. If you are uncomfortable giving personal details, ask that a deposit be used in lieu of personal contact details. If you are respectful and up front most women will find a way to work it out so they feel safe and your protected as well.

Discuss what happens should you two encounter one another in public just to be sure you’re on the same page. (I pretend I do not know them and expect the same.)

Discretion goes two ways. Never ever go up to a sex worker and say “ Oh you are such and such aren’t you?” It is rude, even if they are infamous in your area. Perhaps they are entertaining a friend or family member who is uncomfortable about their job. Maybe they do not want to discuss work or be “on”. The reason is not important, what is important is mutual respect of privacy and boundaries.

Happy Cruising!