A hook suspension

I recieved an email from Mr. Skateboard's new gal pal yesterday. She attended the hook ritual I facilitated for him in November. This is her account of what happened. She sent this to a few of her close friends afterwards and gave me permission to share here. I thought it might be an interesting point of view for you guys since most of you haven't attended a suspension either. (Thanks MJ!)


I don't really write about my spiritual rituals here. I must to have some sort of privacy and that's one of the limits I have set for myself. Energy work, meditation and creating sacred space is a large part of my life. Sharing this gives you a peak into that without getting too detailed about the more personal aspects. Enjoy.

"Hi ladies,

I thought I'd write and share an experience I just had.



Some of you may or may not have heard me talk about my friend J. He is my favorite new favorite person these days - we've known each other about a year and a half in this lifetime, but in many before this. Anyway, he's my best friend and my sibling and my crush and my teacher and my student and very important to me right now. It was his brother that died while I was in Chicago.



Last night he did a suspension and invited me to be part of it with him. It was him, his ex-girlfriend of many years - a dominatrix named Betka who did the piercing and suspension, an old friend of theirs from Texas named Char and me. I was really apprehensive going into this. I've never been part of this level of extreme fucking with your body before. Never been to a stage show where suspensions were being done. Barely seen pictures even.



For anybody wondering, a suspension is a ritual in which metal hooks are put through the flesh (called "throwing hooks") and then attached to a winch which is pulled up and the person ends up suspended by the hooks in their flesh supporting their entire body weight.



J was using this as a ritual to deal with heavy stuff surrounding his brother's death as well as a huge shift in him about the way that he relates to his world.

I was asked to stay sober and to eat real and good food throughout the day and further took advantage of the heavy magic being invited into my life to head home from work and have a pot of tea and put on music and create an alter which I've been meaning and wanting to do for a long time and meditate and get as high and holy and clear as I could before walking into this ritual. J had done the same and when he came to pick me up (so I could drive after) we were both just buzzing with energy and about as grounded as I've seen either of us, it was really nice.



So we go to Betka's space. Rooms full of every kind of equipment and costumes and props you could imagine and then much more. And beautifully done. She is clearly a powerful woman and creates a very safe place for people to reach the edges of their fantasies and desires and fears. Beautiful rich colors and fabrics, good solid furniture and great stuff. Again, not a place I've lived or even really visited in my world, but it's easy to recognize the quality of her space and her work. J talks about her living with intention and her space is an amazing example of this practice.



She has set up a room where she and J will do the piercing and has invited Char and I to "hold space" in the room where the suspension will take place and where the alter is. She invited me to bring a white candle to the alter so I made one with much magic and love and also made a print of the dancing ganesh which is a strong god for J and gave them to him for the altar. Char and I sat and meditated while J and Betka worked on the piercings which we could hear through the wall and sounded like they were being kind of rough. She eventually came in and asked me if I would help them as she was having a hard time doing this particular kind alone. There were four hooks along his upper back so I held the skin up so that she could pierce it through with a HUGE needle then thread the hooks through. Pretty intimate and pretty gnarly I must say. And there I was three inches from it when I hadn't been sure I wanted to even be in the building. But I did well and to J's credit after she "threw the hook" (she'd gotten two of them on her own so this was the third of four) and he breathed through it and she asked if he was okay and he said that he was, he asked if I was okay. I was just like "dude, you have a big metal hook through your skin and you're asking if I'M okay?" But I thought it was nice because he knew that this was a hard thing for me to be part of at all, let alone be PART of, you know? But we all did it together and then he was ready to move to the next part of the ritual. Hanging. >From hooks. In his skin.



I was really struck by is how beautiful it was. How aesthetically pleasing these hooks through his flesh were. I had no idea I would think that, but totally aside from the emotional aspect of (and very clear physical) understanding what it took to get them there, just visually, as though I were looking at a photograph, beautiful.



So into the suspension room where Char has been holding space for us. Some water drinking, some meditating, some choosing of music, some waiting to be ready to DO THIS. Finally we all are - well, mostly J is, but we all have a level of investment at this point. Getting off the ground was hard and intense and amazing to watch him choose, a little at a time and to watch the skin pull and stretch away from his body. Then he was up. And then he was so happy. Flying and swinging and it really looked like it felt good. I don't think I can explain how that could be possible, but it was amazing to watch this person that I really really love go through this release. The release I think comes from there being no room in your psyche for anything other than paying attention to RIGHT NOW. You are forced to just let the rest go because there is no room to hold on to it.



The three of them had prepared some writings to burn to "release" while he was hanging and Betka asked if I'd like to participate in that which I was grateful for and we all sealed our papers with blood and burned them while J was suspended and it was so holy. We were all so high in this intense moment. Not silent or anything, but reverent. He hung for about 45 minutes before asking to come down, he was ready, he was done.



Then the afterwork and the being done, the coming down. The little bit of visiting, the thanking, the acknowledgement of a shared experience. A late night dinner for J and me and then home where I laid in bed for a very long time with my eyes wide open and finally a deep and completely dreamless sleep.



I am grateful to have gotten to share this experience with him. And Betka and Char and myself. It has been a long time since I've been this connected to my universe and I hope that I can maintain the remembering of how important ritual and meditation and holy space are to being at peace with yourself and with life. I've been asking the universe over the last couple of months for an opportunity to find that space because I'd been having such a hard time getting there on my own. I would not have guessed that it would present itself quite this way, but I am glad that it did.



I love you all so very much and I look forward to seeing each of you soon."