So you want to see another Domme...
Just admit it already! It is no big deal. I spoke with a very nice gentleman yesterday who told me he had been waiting a long time to contact me for a session. His reason? He felt as if it may be disrespectful to another Domme he had sessioned with at the dungeon. What a nice guy. I decided it was a good time to talk about "referrals".
When you session with a dominatrix you are compensating her for her expertise and discretion. Unless you have a personal relationship with her you should feel free to session with whomever you like. Slaves will often impose limits on themselves like this to make their exchange more intense. I seriously question the motive when a Domina "forbids" her clients to see other Mistresses. I want my play partners to indulge a range of sensations and experiences so that they can bring more to the table when we are playing. I would rather a bottom ask me for a referral so that I can recommend someone safe and competent, and most of my esteemed colleagues would as well.
Some reasons a Pro Domme might have for not wanting you to see anyone else:
- Concerned about keeping training consistent.
- Concern for your safety.
- To enhance the feeling of "ownership" for both parties.
- Concern you may decide to see someone else regularly.
(This list is short, I would love to hear from those of you who do not allow your pro clients to session with others, especially if you have reasons not listed here!)
Reasons I believe you should not be obligated to do so:
- The more you play the more you learn.
- Being competitive should be about staying current and fresh on your skills, and consistently raising the bar for your own sessions. (Not trying to keep the slaves from exploring other options.) Insecurity and jealousy around other Dommes only serves to undermine your own power. There is enough to go around, I promise.
- The more people we have familiar with and using professional domination services the better. It only stands to increase our visibility and working conditions. ( Ladies, think about it this way: In my experience, clients who have seen many Mistresses generally have much better manners and are able to articulate their needs in a much more concise manner.)
- When you compensate me financially for my time you create a situation where I can devote my attention to you exclusively. One of the major differences in personal and professional slavery is the level of commitment by the slave. (There are exceptions.) The personal slave must work very hard to earn time in service, where the pro relationship is based more on convenience.( That is not to say the pro-scene is more or less "real", only that some people haven't the time or interest in exploring this full time.) The commitment is short and sweet without all of the normal relationship complications. That is part of the beauty of what we do. We offer people a rare opportunity to explore parts of themselves previously hidden in a safe, no strings attached manner.
I am getting ready for Solstice work this A.M. and I am out of time. I decided it's better to jot some notes while this was fresh, rather than wait until i have time for a full essay.
Back to your regularly scheduled perversions...
When you session with a dominatrix you are compensating her for her expertise and discretion. Unless you have a personal relationship with her you should feel free to session with whomever you like. Slaves will often impose limits on themselves like this to make their exchange more intense. I seriously question the motive when a Domina "forbids" her clients to see other Mistresses. I want my play partners to indulge a range of sensations and experiences so that they can bring more to the table when we are playing. I would rather a bottom ask me for a referral so that I can recommend someone safe and competent, and most of my esteemed colleagues would as well.
Some reasons a Pro Domme might have for not wanting you to see anyone else:
- Concerned about keeping training consistent.
- Concern for your safety.
- To enhance the feeling of "ownership" for both parties.
- Concern you may decide to see someone else regularly.
(This list is short, I would love to hear from those of you who do not allow your pro clients to session with others, especially if you have reasons not listed here!)
Reasons I believe you should not be obligated to do so:
- The more you play the more you learn.
- Being competitive should be about staying current and fresh on your skills, and consistently raising the bar for your own sessions. (Not trying to keep the slaves from exploring other options.) Insecurity and jealousy around other Dommes only serves to undermine your own power. There is enough to go around, I promise.
- The more people we have familiar with and using professional domination services the better. It only stands to increase our visibility and working conditions. ( Ladies, think about it this way: In my experience, clients who have seen many Mistresses generally have much better manners and are able to articulate their needs in a much more concise manner.)
- When you compensate me financially for my time you create a situation where I can devote my attention to you exclusively. One of the major differences in personal and professional slavery is the level of commitment by the slave. (There are exceptions.) The personal slave must work very hard to earn time in service, where the pro relationship is based more on convenience.( That is not to say the pro-scene is more or less "real", only that some people haven't the time or interest in exploring this full time.) The commitment is short and sweet without all of the normal relationship complications. That is part of the beauty of what we do. We offer people a rare opportunity to explore parts of themselves previously hidden in a safe, no strings attached manner.
I am getting ready for Solstice work this A.M. and I am out of time. I decided it's better to jot some notes while this was fresh, rather than wait until i have time for a full essay.
Back to your regularly scheduled perversions...
posted by Betka Schpitz at
6/21/2006 07:28:00 AM
1 Comments:
I would go by that one Domme guideline because of a lack of money. Thus, I would rather spend the money I did have in trying to build up a relationship with one Domme. Although lately I don't think I have the money to even do that.
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