I was digging through some stuff on my hardrive and found this scene report kitten did after an intense evening of faceslapping. This is a couple of years old. Enjoy...
"
Mistress did something to me last night that was very unexpected and intense. It all began right after danaya left to take Ms.Soren home after she had been visiting with Her Majesty all afternoon. She walked up to me and started choking me- not surprising- soon enough we were both on the floor and She had my throat tight between Her thighs, squeezing until i felt like i might pass out if She continued, then She let up, only to choke me again seconds later. She suffocated me with Her breasts and pinned me to the floor. After a few slaps and some breath play She laid back for a few minutes and talked... i buried my face in Her pussy and started getting wet from the faint smell of Her pussy through the pants She was wearing... Rolling about as though seeking the ideal position to torture me in, we somehow ended up with Her legs holding my legs up over my head, squeezing me tight in place. She grabbed a wooden hairbrush that was conveniently nearby and just started slapping me with it. i began whining a little and She reminded me of how i was going to be good from now on... true, true, i did say that... one of my western new year resolutions was to be more well behaved when accepting pain from Her Majesty. So i apologized for my vocal outbursts and did my best to remain quiet and completely submissive. She just started hitting me harder, making me cry out again...
i started to feel kind of bad about my ability to accept pain like a good slave for Her. Any sensation She creates is a gift and i should always be grateful and composed, whether She is petting my head, beating me with a brush, or shoving needles through my nipples. i admitted out loud to Her that i felt bad about the way i acted- and that i suspected my neurofeedback sessions for over a year manipulated my brainwaves so that i would react to pain differently. It seemed like in the beginning of our relationship i was able to take pain a lot better. Perhaps it was my desire at the time to prove my worth as a submissive- i've gotten over that whole initial shyness about making noises and struggling when accepting pain. i always held it back. felt like i was less of a slave if i reacted to the pain and torture, but now i just let it out and sometimes i wish i could get back in that subdued headspace that i had in my early stages of BDSM.
i thought.. maybe She just used to hit me with less force back then, and mentioned that. She said that was likely.. but then i recalled how She paddled me that one time until my ass bled, and that time long ago in the medical room when She strapped me to the table and whipped me until i did scream, giving me bruises that lasted for two weeks. i loved it really. i savoured those bruises and scabs as my skin healed and felt great pride that i had been able to take so much, that She had faith that i could take it. Lately i feel like a pussy. She doesn't play me often, so perhaps that is a reason i get whiney when She does get the urge to beat me. i used to have a lot of time to erotocize pain in my mind before too- whereas lately i just don't fantasize as much as i used to. i think that i fantasize a LOT more than the average person about situations i find sexually stimulating, but early in our relationship i was completely immersed and obsessed with BDSM play. Perhaps i need to make the time for naughty meditations more often....
anyway...
She was hitting me with the brush on the back of my thighs and my ass, and i was whining a little. She asked if i thought i could break free of Her thigh grip and i honestly answered yes, so She told me to go ahead. i stretched my legs and stiffened my body, forcing Her thighs off of me for a second before i stopped and let Her take Her grip back. i liked it better that way anyhow. She then had me hold my legs up in the air, spread apart, and made me hold the position while She spanked me repeatedly with the brush. She turned it over to use the bristle side and started beating my pussy with it. OUCH. i must have said that a few dozen times. She started tapping me gently and in a sarcastic voice said, "oh would you prefer i hit you this way? is this how you like it?" Of course not. i like it to hurt... (but why the fuck can't i make myself stay quiet and enjoy it!) Mistress said that She thinks i like to act like i do not like it, that it gets me off more to struggle and pretend i am in a lot more pain than i really am. Yes, i agree. i do like to struggle. i like to be put in heavy bondage and hurt until i squirm, writhe, and cry... These things are not easy to admit, but i agreed with Her observations. Mistress is always right.Always...
i struggled to stay quiet and keep my position without dropping my legs or pulling them together while She slapped the fuck out of my pussy. She had to threaten me in order to make me keep my legs where She put them, which illustrated Her power over me and made me feel extremely submissive. Even when i think i can't do something, She can make me. She soon lost interest in that and went back to beating my ass. She got on top of me and started smothering me with Her breasts again. i told Her that would be a wonderful way to die, and She took off with that statement, naming off numerous ways i would likely enjoy being killed, including but not limited to drowning in Her pussy juice - my favourite suggestion She made. She started digging into my only ticklish spots, and something is just wrong with my brain wiring because when She tickles me i start saying, "ow ow ow ow ow ow!" and reacting as though i were in great pain, but when She pinches my nipples very hard i just whimper, squirm, and sometimes crack a smile in the midst of the pain.
So the spanking ended when i broke Her hairbrush. Yes... i did feel kind of guilty for that, it was a really nice brush that i now must replace. She decided it would be fun to start slapping me across the face instead. i enjoy this, but become very sensitive and reactive. She asked why it was that i cried so easily when She did this- i don't know. i just do start crying. She pointed out how it didn't really hurt very much, at the intensity She was delivering the slaps, and She was right of course. It wasn't that She was really hitting me all that hard. She illustrated this by slapping me in the face then slamming me in the chest with Her fist- repeat, repeat... yes, the chest slamming took my breath away and lingered longer than the face slapping that only stung for a moment and was more annoying than painful... Her next observation hit the nail on the head. Being slapped in the face is very humiliating for me. Bam, that's it. She continued slapping me in the face throughout this conversation, intermixing the slaps with caresses... my eyes filled with tears and i tried burying my face into Her leg but She would have none of that and made me look straight up at Her. She dug deeper and started asking me questions no one has ever asked me before.... it was freaking me out. i am by no means scarred for life and emotionally disturbed due to child abuse- luckily i became a masochist instead. But it was just very strange and made me feel very weird, made the whole scenario very surreal when She asked me those questions and forced me to answer. i just don't even bother thinking about that stuff anymore and She was dragging me back to early childhood memories of listening to strawberry shortcake and muppets records alone in my bedroom and being slapped to a numbing ache.
i was determined to not cry.
i sucked in my breath and flinched when i felt Her hand lift up to deliver a blow. my eyes were squeezed shut. She would slap me a few times with increasing force, then softly touch my face, smooth my hair, and wipe my tears. It was all very overwhelming. For a few seconds i did start crying, not just leaking tears but full blown crying. She said that it was probably very good for me. i admitted that i don't cry very often anymore. i used to cry a lot, but i just don't anymore. Guess i grew up. Realized that crying never really does any good and that it is a waste of time. The last time i cried was a week ago when i thought Her Majesty hated me and our entire relationship flashed before my eyes. Seriously... images of our first face to face meeting... the first time She fisted me... that time i was mesmerized watching Her roll around on the bed with a silk scarf... that time Midori tied me up onstage at embers and i looked across the bar- locking in on Her Majesty's shadow and feeling proud and connected to Her... my baptism... it just went on and on for over an hour straight, the images of Her and i together and me bawling my eyes out with lords of acid playing so loud next to me that my eardrums bounced. i can't remember the last time before that when i cried.. like, really cried.
She caressed my face again and brought me out of my little freak out crying thing within seconds. But kept on with the face slapping... noticing that i am less likely to cry as much when She slaps me with a bag over my head. i think that is because bagging gets me really high and the face slapping doesn't matter then, it brings me back to earth. She slowed and soon stopped slapping my face - i hugged Her thigh tightly and dried my leftover tears on her pants. She said She was always amazed at what intense feelings face slapping brought up.
For as crazy as that time was in my brain, i was smiling and felt perfectly fine moments later. Maybe that means i am emotionally stable and feel secure with Her Majesty... regardless i love how She progresses in scenes, conversations, life. She threatened to brush my hair and that was probably the scariest moment that evening. Really now-- it would HURT a LOT if She had done that, my hair is a wild mass of curl, same as Hers which is why She knew how frightening that would be.
We eventually got up off of the floor, well, She did. i discovered Her fondness of grilled cheese sandwiches and offered to make them and tomato basil soup for Her dinner.
i made dinner and She fell asleep while we were watching a movie. After it ended i woke Her gently and asked if She wanted to go to bed- She loves Her bedroom now that it is set up all cozy. i followed Her to bed, arranged the blankets and locked myself up for the night. Then fell asleep feeling perfect with my face buried in Her back."
slave kitten 2003
